What the hell is Uncle Jeff up to? - Part II

Welcome back to the second installment of "What the hell is Uncle Jeff up to?"

To my fans and avid supporters, the horizon looks gloomy. The critics are threatening to shut us down. Apparently my story is not as intriguing as the daily shenanigans of twin five year olds.

But that got me thinking. What do Ace and Ben have that I don't have? Certainly not charm or wisdom. It isn't street smarts. I was baffled. And then it hit me. What they have is a cute little pudgy innocence.

And I realized to win over my critics I have to go further back in my story. All the way back to MY cute pudgy innocent stage.

And so here we are. This is cute pudgy innocent Uncle Jeff posing with his cute pudgy innocent parents. Ace and Ben call these two "Grandma and Grandpa".

I have to admit, life was pretty good back then. The parents basically let me call the shots. This is me kicking back with my best friend "Booger", enjoying a cold one, chillin on the lake.

But life wasn't always this easy. Not like for Ace and Ben. I didn't always see eye to eye with the parentals. When I was 8 years old, I ran away from home. This is me and my cave where I lived for five years. Bat poo is a little acidic by itself, but spread on a nicely grilled squirrel, like jam on bread, its really not too bad.

When I was 13 years old, I moved back to the city. I got a job selling used cars and was making ends meet. This next photo is me and my condo in 1985. It was a good time for me. Van Halen, the Reagan Years, New Coke...well I guess New Coke wasn't really good, but it was still part of a good time. I was becoming a man.


And if you look closely, you can see the cute pudgy innocence replaced with the cold hard wisdom of manhood...

HURRAY for Uncle Jeff!!!