They are going to make awesome frat boys one day...

I left the buddies alone in the bath for about five minutes a few nights ago. And heard fits of hysterical laughing, so thought I'd better investigate.

Ace: Mom, we drank each other's pee!
Me: (throwing up a little in my mouth) What?? You're joking, right?
Ben: No, we really did.
Me: Tell me exactly what you did.
Ace: First, we peed in these cups. Then, we traded, and put a little bit in our mouth and then spit it out. Ben did it twice, but I only did it once.
Me: (really trying hard to hold back the dry heaves) Did it taste good?
Ace: No!
Ben: No!
Me: Well let's not do that again. That's really yucky and could make you sick. (more dry heaving) Now get out of the bath and let's brush your teeth. Twice. And then throw away your toothbrushes.

Barton Springs Pool

Adventure Monday #5 brought us to Barton Springs Pool, one of the top-rated swimming holes in Texas. The 900 foot long pool is spring-fed, giving it an average temperature of 68 degrees. My camera didn't venture beyond the very shallow end, but we all three took several plunges into the chilly water. Refreshing!

Father's Day 2010

It was a pretty typical Father's Day around here. Homemade gifts, sleeping in for Dad, grilling in the backyard, and some pool time. Actually, that is a pretty typical Sunday for us, minus the gifts.

The buddies also completed their usual questionnaires. Ace's answers are in blue. Ben's in red.

How old is Dad? 60-70 / 57 (actual answer: 37)

My dad has black / no hair. (actual answer: brown, though not much of it)
My dad has green / green eyes. (actual answer: blue-green)
My dad loves to tickle me /play!
I love it when my dad cooks me cheesy chopped eggs /plays with me.
My favorite thing to do with dad is tickle him! / get Dad to tickle me. That’s my favorite part of Dad.
My favorite game to play with my dad is Candy Land / The Get You Game.
I like it when my dad sings Twinkle Twinkle / Twinkle Twinkle.
My dad makes great hamburgers / eggs.
When I’m sad, my dad tickles me / tickles me.
I like to play games / play the Get You Game with my dad.
I love my dad because he has green eyes like me and I look like him / he plays the Get You Game.

Happy Father's Day to our very special Daddy!

What the hell is Uncle Jeff up to? - Part III

While I had planned Part III to be "What the hell is Uncle Jeff up to? - The College Years", I can see the writing on the wall. The cold hard forces that be are going to shut me down.

The people have spoken. And they have been heard. If its Ace and Ben you want, Ace and Ben you shall have.

For those that do not know, our two wee heros are in adventurous Oklahoma this week, kicking things up a notch with Grandma and Grandpa.

This photo is an example of brotherly love. And it highlights the importance of water safety. Good job boys!

And this is an example of a coordinated attack. Sorry Grandpa, you're out numbered and out gunned...





Now Oklahoma has much more to offer than life jackets and squirt guns.

Oh yeah, much more.




Like FISH!















And RACOONS!!!




Mmmmmmm MMMMMMM! Nobody makes Racoon-Fish Casserole like Grandma! You're in for a TREAT Ace and Ben!!








And there you have it, adoring fans. Your weekly fix of Ace and Ben. This is Uncle Jeff signing off. To my sister, go ahead and change your password. I'm done.

And to my nephews...be good.
Uncle Jeff is WATCHING...

What the hell is Uncle Jeff up to? - Part II

Welcome back to the second installment of "What the hell is Uncle Jeff up to?"

To my fans and avid supporters, the horizon looks gloomy. The critics are threatening to shut us down. Apparently my story is not as intriguing as the daily shenanigans of twin five year olds.

But that got me thinking. What do Ace and Ben have that I don't have? Certainly not charm or wisdom. It isn't street smarts. I was baffled. And then it hit me. What they have is a cute little pudgy innocence.

And I realized to win over my critics I have to go further back in my story. All the way back to MY cute pudgy innocent stage.

And so here we are. This is cute pudgy innocent Uncle Jeff posing with his cute pudgy innocent parents. Ace and Ben call these two "Grandma and Grandpa".

I have to admit, life was pretty good back then. The parents basically let me call the shots. This is me kicking back with my best friend "Booger", enjoying a cold one, chillin on the lake.

But life wasn't always this easy. Not like for Ace and Ben. I didn't always see eye to eye with the parentals. When I was 8 years old, I ran away from home. This is me and my cave where I lived for five years. Bat poo is a little acidic by itself, but spread on a nicely grilled squirrel, like jam on bread, its really not too bad.

When I was 13 years old, I moved back to the city. I got a job selling used cars and was making ends meet. This next photo is me and my condo in 1985. It was a good time for me. Van Halen, the Reagan Years, New Coke...well I guess New Coke wasn't really good, but it was still part of a good time. I was becoming a man.


And if you look closely, you can see the cute pudgy innocence replaced with the cold hard wisdom of manhood...

HURRAY for Uncle Jeff!!!

What the hell is Uncle Jeff up to? - Part I

So while Ace and Ben are on vacation in Oklahoma and their mother is ... i don't know...maybe learning how to sleep late again? Anyway she's NOT doing this blog so I thought I'd hack in with a new series.

This series is going to be WAY more interesting.
Its called "What the hell is Uncle Jeff up to?"

See the dead grass where the boat trailer used to sit? Notice anything? Like no boat trailer? Because Part I is all about how Uncle Jeff sold his boat today! Hurray! Now its time to start shopping around for a super big new mega yacht. One with giant twin 4-stroke Yamahas just like Grandpa Mike. But Uncle Jeff's boat will have two engines so it will go super duper fast.

Now lets look at Uncle Jeff holding his check for MILLIONS and MILLIONS. He can’t wait to cash it.

Will it bounce? If it does he'll be super duper sad. Just like he was when he forgot to water the lavender plant. I don't think its gonna make it...

But we should think happy thoughts! In fact, maybe its time to celebrate. But where to start? Oh where oh where to start? How about the liquor cabinet!

HURRAY for Uncle Jeff!!!

Blue Bonnet Cafe

Today's Adventure Monday wasn't quite as exciting as last week's. But with Camp Grandma beginning tomorrow (for the buddies...by themselves!), we decided to take it easy. After scouring our favorite berry farm for blackberries and then picnicking in the shade, we hit up the world-famous Blue Bonnet Cafe.

The little cafe, famous for their breakfasts and pies, has been serving up home-cooked goodness since 1929. Ben insisted on soft-serve ice cream, since his berry-picking adventures have always ended in ice cream. But, Ace and I opted for the famous pies. I loved my banana cream pie and Ace took down a lofty piece of coconut meringue. He loved how huge it was!

We all agreed that next time, we'll try their breakfast. And maybe end that meal with pie too.

Wheels

We added a few wheeled items to our collection of well-used bikes and scooters. Thanks, Uncle Jeff (especially for the pads!). And thanks Cousin Ginny (for gifting cash and telling them they could pick out ANYTHING they wanted).

Austin's Park

Adventure Monday #3 took us to Austin's Park and the buddies have declared that they want to have every Adventure Monday here. Of course! With 22 acres of outdoor fun and 50,000 square feet of indoor fun, it will be hard to top.






The price of admission includes an all you can eat pizza buffet, so we had lunch, an afternoon snack, and dinner there today. The food was terrible (and terrible for us) but the buddies didn't notice and I certainly appreciated the convenience.






During our 9 hour visit (yes, 9 hours!), we rode trains and tea cups and hopper rides, played video games and skee ball, and bounced in bounce houses. We rode bumper boats and squirted water at our fellow boaters (and a few passers-by). But, the hands-down favorite was the go-carts. At the end of the day, a mom approached me at my spot in the shade and said, "Your kids have been on the go-carts all day, haven't they?" And Ace must have asked me 100 times, "Can't we plllllease just ride one more time?" Even as I tucked him into bed and he was already asleep, he said, "Please, can I ride the go-carts again..."

Feed Your Brain!

The buddies have been slowly learning to read over the last year. But, we haven't been overly-serious about it until now. This summer, we're using Half Price Books' awesome Summer Reading Program to kick-start them into a lifetime of reading. Every kid that reads 15 minutes a day for 5 days in any given week earns a $3 gift card.

We began on Sunday. There were some tears, some "I can't do it"s, and some "I'd rather run around like a wild boy than sit here and read this" behaviors. But at the end of the week, we've found our groove. Ben loves to read in the car, where he otherwise has nothing else to do. And Ace likes to sit down with me while I drink my morning coffee and knock his 15+ minutes out first thing. By the end of the day today, Ace had logged 101 minutes of reading and Ben logged 96, each all on their own. Way to go buddies!

And our trip to the bookstore this afternoon, where they each picked out 3 books (for FREE!) sealed the deal. They can't wait to get started on next week's logs.

Old Fashioned Summer Time Fun

Our cousins invited us to celebrate their first full day of summer with them. First, we hit Zilker Park for some playscape time, people-watching, and picnicking. Then, we followed it up with a trip to Nau's Drug Store for real hand-spun milk shakes from their old-fashioned soda fountain.


My boys both ordered pineapple milkshakes and the friendly counter-lady suggested they split one 16 ouncer. But, when their cousins each ordered a different flavor, thus getting a full milkshake each, Ace quickly changed his order to banana. He's no dummy. And banana was clearly the better choice. Throw some chocolate syrup in there and you'd have a real winner.






The place was hoppin' but some kind folks offered to move seats so our big crew could sit together at the counter. And a few of the friendly patrons stopped by to congratulate our kids on the beginning of summer. It's going to be a good one!